I'm leaving Granada in four days. Four days and I won't be in this house anymore. Four days and I'll have to say goodbye to my wonderful, wonderful host mother and her precious and annoying daughter.
I've really enjoyed myself in Granada thus far.
While I'm probably going to repeat this entry in a week when I leave Spain all together I really feel like getting this out now.
I've learned a lot about people in general, I've learned a lot about myself, I've learned a LOT of Spanish, and I've had a LOT of new experiences.
About people:
I've learned that no one is ever really happy with themselves. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone see's the worst in themselves regardless of their confidence level. The people I've met here are some of the most beautiful people I've met, inside and out, but they all have crazy insecurities and crazy thoughts about themselves.
I've learned that you really know who your friends are very quickly. I've learned that you can not figure someone out in six weeks, and that people are always going to be a mystery to you unless they want to let you in. Unless you find a miraculous way to earn their trust, you really won't know someone. -- A mile wide and an inch deep -- It's really all you're going to get.
About myself:
I've learned more about myself in the past six weeks than I've probably learned in the last twenty years of my life. I've learned that twenty is in fact very young, and that I have my whole life ahead of me. I've learned not to worry about my future, because it's already happened, and it's already going to happen... Whatever is planned, will be. Tomorrow, in a year, in ten years. It'll all happen in good time. I don't need to rush it. I'm trying to maintain my youth, and find my place in the adult world at the same time, when really I don't need to try to find it. I'll find a place in this world when the world is good and ready for me.
About Spanish:
I've learned how to call someone a "player" in the Don Juan sense of the word, I've learned how to say "boobies", "cool", "friend with benefits", "AIDS", and "shot", and a few other insignificant phrases. Along with my immature language I've borderline perfected my grammar skills. I still get a few tenses wrong here-and-there because I don't think before I speak sometimes, imagine that, but it's getting better over all.
My new experiences have been documented here and there.
I guess here I'm just realizing who I am a little better. Being away from my daily routine and away from people that I really know helps me express who I am. Because when I'm around people who don't know me I sort of have to reiterate who I am, and almost explain that yes, I am still a child at heart, I can be mature when I really want to, I can be a sweet heart, I can be a hormone driven young lady, and I can be a bitch.
It's kind of complex, but it's who I am. :)
And I'm starting to love me. Spain is good for the soul.
It's good for peace of mind.
For me at least.
I just wish there weren't so many skinny bitches here... makes me want to go on a diet...
I love my personality, I'm working on loving my body.
Hasta Mañana.
<3
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