Just click you're heels together three times and say...

There's no place like home.

Last night was quite a rough one. I posted earlier in the day about how amazing classes were and how I felt like something was changing about me... And granted, classes are fantastic, I really couldn't ask for better, more engaging teachers, but something did change last night. I felt what I haven't felt since the 2001, when I spent the night at my best friends house and called my mom to come get me because I couldn't go to sleep. I was home sick. For the first time since I was 9, eh maybe 10...

It's a different world right now. I'm finding that I don't have quite as many close connections as I have at home. I don't really have people that I can lean on yet. It's really hart to find people who you can just open up to.

Granted, I'll tell you about shallow things all day long, such as "Hey I want to make out with a stranger today.", or "Hey I haven't slept in over three days because I'm constipated." ... Things with no emotional depth, so people perceive me as being open... But what I've really missed is having real conversations with people, about real struggles.

I've missed having those conversations with my Dad.

Whenever I go home for a weekend or for a day or, however long, I'll end up on the music room floor siting across from him while he's on the computer and we'll talk. Depending on the topic, he'll talk more than me, but still, it's real and it's meaningful. It's not shallow girl talk, or shallow "things that happen in the bathroom" tlak, or shallow "let's talk about ex-boyfriends" talk... With my Padre, I can talk about anything. Sometimes he just calls me crazy, but he'll still talk me out of whatever funk I happen to be in.

And thankfully we got to have one of those talks last night.

It was a short one, because transcontinental internet connection really sucks a big one, but we still got to have a daddy-daughter talk.

I know that I've only been gone for a little over a month, but I've missed it. Talking and having someone listen and give you some sort of feedback.

I'm finally becoming aware that I do miss home, I miss Atlanta, not Snellville so much, but I do. I miss my friends at home, I miss my animals, I miss my family... Ugh. It's difficult, but as they say "it's all part of growing up."


I'm leaving for Portugal tomorrow morning, expect another long entry upon my return.


<3

Buenas Tardes