I've come to a few different conclusions about it, i've numbered them, in no particular order, but here they are.
1. You will always face a battle between your mind and your heart; because you mind will always think about the future, about what is coming next. It will dream about what different, new, better thing will be headed your way, while your heart will constantly be stuck in the same position, realizing that this is as good as it's ever going to get. This moment, right here. This is what love is. But your brain will tell you, 'no it will get better'.
2. I know that all a parent wants is for their child to have the best things in life, but I don't think that a parent should have a say in a child's love life (after the age of like, 14). Por eso, I don't think that we should listen to our parents advice on love. I know that parents have more experience, sure, they've been there done that. But you haven't been in MY specific situation, MY specific predicament, you don't know how deep or how strong a love is unless you're in it. So parents, please, as great of advice as it is, please don't brainwash your kids. Let them be stupid and happy in whatever mess they're in. Unless it's like really shitty, in which case, impose away.
3. I'm not totally sure that I believe in love anymore. And I wholeheartedly blame Disney. I do believe that you can find someone that you can live your life with forever, sure, it's called a best friend. I do believe that you can find someone that you will have an intimate relationship with and it'll be awesome, but that's called passion. I do believe that you can find someone with the same hormone development as you, that's called lust. I do believe that you can find someone with the same ideals and interests as you, that's called chemistry. However, I think that it is damn near impossible to find all of these things in one person. Also, I guarantee that while reading this you thought, you won't find anyone with all of these. "It's called a marriage, you're supposed to work on it" ... no. Fuck that. If I'm going to 'love' someone, I'm going to enjoy it. Not torture myself. I want a Disney romance, not something that's out of a Life Time movie! ... But, that's Hollywood and it's never going to happen.... which brings us back full circle to why I'm losing faith in love.
4. I do, however, think that if you've found someone with the majority of said characteristics listed above that you should spend as much time enjoying them while they last, without listening to what other people have to say. Regardless of if 'you can do better' or 'they're not good enough for you'... As far as I know, there is nothing better. Sure, there will be someone with a higher GPA somewhere, there will be someone with a trust fund waiting to be my sugar daddy, sure there will be someone waiting for me to give me everything that I've ever wanted, but is that really what I want?
All of these things have led me to the conclusion that I really need to start thinking about what I want from life.
What kind of future do I want to have? Do I want one where I get to be a leisurely stay at home mom/trophy wife? Do I want one where I have to work all day to support a husband/family? Do I want one where I don't have a husband/family? Do I want to live in a shack on an island?
What do I want?!
What do I want?
....
I feel like if I don't decide soon that I might let important people slip out of my lives and I might lose them forever. But I read somewhere that if it's meant to be that it will happen... but I know that you have to put some of your own work into it.
Life is hard, is there not a manual for this?
Welcome to My World,
It's been
<3
Buenas Noches.
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